Back on Serenity

[simon_doctor]

He'd said goodbye to Sheemie, earlier in the evening; he and Kaylee had later said goodbye to Alain, and to Cuthbert and Susan.

And then they saw them leave.

-----

Simon's room is dimly lit; standard lighting for this time of night.

He considers turning up the lighting, decides against it, closes the door behind them, and turns to look at Kaylee.

Comments

[gonna_live]

She's rubbing the back of her neck. It'd be a nervous gesture, were she nervous; she mostly just looks bemused. Blank. Heavy.

[simon_doctor]

Quietly: "You okay, ai ren?"

[gonna_live]

Kaylee shakes her head and looks up at him. "Are you?"

[simon_doctor]

"...I don't know."

He moves to sit down on the bed.

[gonna_live]

Kaylee drifts over to sit next to him.
Were they friends?
Quiet:
No, in death there are only acquaintances.
"He laughed."

[simon_doctor]

Simon nods.

"I wonder why."

[gonna_live]

"I don't want to know."

Not ever.

Because as good as what was through that door looked -- the

(come)

forest in spring --

Kaylee likes being alive. And being here, next to Simon, and people just left and why hasn't she put her arms around him yet?

This is remedied.

[simon_doctor]

He's toeing off his shoes when her arms are suddenly around him; it takes him a brief moment to rebalance and reciprocate.

And then he just holds her, for a few moments.

"I almost..."

He trails off.

[gonna_live]

"Mm?"
So kiss me, my darling
Kaylee lifts her head. Just a little. Enough to look at him.
Stay with me till morning
It's important.

[simon_doctor]

"I almost wish I hadn't seen it."

It looked pleasant enough, the

(clearing)

forested area beyond the door.

And the longer he thinks about that, the more it frightens him.

[gonna_live]

She nods.

"Me neither."

Pause.

"...is it too early to go to bed?"

Kaylee's not likely to be sleeping any time soon. But it's better to have an excuse for being quiet.

[simon_doctor]

"Probably."

He looks at her closely.

"...D'you want to anyway?"

[gonna_live]

Kaylee nods again.

They've got their patterns, do Simon and Kaylee. It comes with the territory -- spending more nights together than apart, varying the location -- the actual preparation doesn't really change. But it's easy to make room in each other's space for things like pajamas, or a book.

They get ready for bed.

Kaylee reaches behind her to take off her necklace, and then rests it on the shelf above the bed before turning down the blankets and moving to the side closest to the wall. She feels more secure that way, and it's easier for Simon to look in on River if he doesn't have to climb over Kaylee to get out of bed. A pattern.

Her boots are down by the foot, as always. Like they usually are in her room. That's also a pattern.

Kaylee eases under the covers, closing her eyes with a soft sigh.

Feeling like this isn't part of the pattern.

[simon_doctor]

Reading before going to sleep is, though. Simon sits on the edge of the bed, book in one hand.

It's over half a minute before he realizes he hasn't opened it yet.

[gonna_live]

And about fifteen seconds more before Kaylee's eyes open. Because the sleeping thing isn't so much a viable proposition, right now.

She props herself on an elbow.

"Ai ren?"

[simon_doctor]

"Mmm?"

He blinks down at the book as though he's never seen it before and can't imagine how it got into his hand.

[gonna_live]

"Just wonderin' if you were payin' it any mind."

A ghost of a smile.

[simon_doctor]

There's a similar almost-smile on his face, in his voice when he answers.

"Not really."

[gonna_live]

"Could lie down, then."

[simon_doctor]

"May as well."

He leans across to put the book down on the shelf above the bed, and slides under the covers beside her.

His arm goes around her more or less automatically.

[gonna_live]

Also a pattern.

"It's scary. The way things fall apart."

Kaylee doesn't know she's going to say it until she does.

"First Meg, even though she came back. And then us. And now Susan's gone, too, and Lilly -- "

[simon_doctor]

Simon nods, his cheek moving against her hair.

"We had some warning this time."

A pause.

"I don't know if that made it easier or harder."

[gonna_live]

"Harder. I don't know if..."

She trails off.

"Captain's real worried about Lilly. And me too. Wonderin' about how she's gonna take all of this, in the long run."

[simon_doctor]

"I know."

Unconsciously, his arm tightens a little around Kaylee.

(I wanted to ask you not to leave me.)

"I want to say she'll be all right, but ..."

(But I think I figured out that ain't somethin' I can ask.)

[gonna_live]

"Only out she's got is the Dreaming. And he'll take care of her, because that's what he does."

She settles more closely against him.

"It's just that I can't imagine it. After the times that Alain helped me out...it's got to be just..."

There aren't words for it.

"I can't put my finger on how much worse it is. Since she loves him like she does."